I’ve spoken to a few men on FetLife who don’t do munches, and I’ve seen some comments on threads about munches being horrible experiences. And of course it’s possible there are communities out there that are not super welcoming, but I’ve never experienced that – certainly not at any munch I’ve been to here in Atlanta, or Boston, or New Orleans.
In case you don’t know what a munch is – generally it’s a meet-up lunch. It’s not always at lunch time but my experience has been that it’s in a public, “vanilla” space where you can get food and drinks and mingle.
What happens at a munch you ask? Well some hosts have you sign in just so they get a sense of ongoing attendance data. You can put on a nametag with your actual name and/or your username – totally up to you. I highly recommend just letting the hosts know, or the first person who smiles at you, that this is your first time attending the munch. That’s a great way to get introduced around and find people to talk to.
Sometimes you get asked about your particular kink orientation, sometimes not. People talk about their day jobs or the vacation they just took or the last event they attended. Sometimes it’s about the SuperBowl or the latest movie. Normal social hour kind of conversation.
The additional benefit of attending munches aside from the casual social connections is that you get known in the local community so when you show up at a kink event you are “legit”. Networking. It’s what’s for dinner.