It's not about that.
The Standard Caveat: I am a cishet white American woman, early model GenX. All of my writing here is from my own experience and point of view. Please do not think I am promoting a gender or sexual orientation norm here. I am not qualified to speak from any other viewpoint than my own. I fully support all LGBTQAI+ people. Black Lives Matter. Trans women are real women. Yes, there is a patriarchy and yes it harms men as well as women.