Pain is the body’s way of telling you something is wrong. It cannot and should NOT be ignored.
The majority of potential partners I chat with are very uncomfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable to the point of being in pain. They say things like “I’m not a masochist” or “I have a low pain threshold”.
It’s not about having a low or high pain threshold. It’s about knowing how to engage with the pain. If you’ve ever had a tattoo – especially if you’ve sat under the needle for an hour or more in one go – you have engaged with the pain. You know what is happening, you signed up for it, and it becomes familiar. You coast along with the pain and you’ll have an endorphin flush. If you fight it your muscles will tighten up and your breathing gets shallow and your brain circles the pain in a way that becomes obsessive and can’t let go of the fighting of it. You cannot switch from sympathetic to parasympathetic. You get stuck in the flight mode. It’s not a good experience.
If you want to explore, on your own, how pain can be absolutely delicious I highly recommend using your nipples. They are usually pretty sensitive and give superb feedback to sensations. Don’t use clover clamps or clothespins right out of the gate. Start with rubbing and pinching with your fingers. Tweezer clamps are good “beginner” instruments. They can feel uncomfortable going on and you’ll get the pain when you take them off and the blood rushes back into the area but they are super adjustable. Find your balance where you are experiencing arousal and pain at the same time. This is really important to do if you don’t have a lot of experience and before you put your nipples in the hands of someone else.
Don’t leave any clamps on for an extended period of time, BTW.
The largest human organ is skin. It is capable of experiencing pain AND pleasure at the same time. We talk about edging as a specific term to describe prolonging arousal and backing off from orgasm to (hopefully) create a mind-blowing experience. But you can also edge back and forth between pain and pleasure. The pain creates the tension that increases the pleasure when it backs off. If you’ve gotten a tattoo you know how good it feels when the artist is done and you get that cool wipe of the cleaner. I know some of you just flashed back to that moment – I did! It feels like the best thing ever in the whole wide world. Now I need to go get more ink.
I’m a sadist but I never just bring out the cane and start whacking away. I want my partner to be in a state of pleasurable arousal before I bring the pain. It’s the ultimate sensation play and it’s always on a scale. My partner will have a much better experience if they have learned how to ride the pain, knowing that when the pain goes down the pleasure is going to come up. The mindfuck is the anticipation of the back and forth and the surrender to the experience.