Over the years many so-called submissive men have offered to serve me. Quite a large percentage of them would like to serve me by giving me oral sex for hours at a time. Not many women actually want that. I am one of those women. Some will say that they want to serve me by cleaning my house or washing my car. That is all well and good, but will they do it more than once? Will they do it just for a thank you? Will they even do it well?
So many promises to serve so little intention to actually do it. I once had a submissive come and put together some furniture for me. I could tell he did not want to do it but he knew that if he did he was going to get a reward since we had already discussed that. Did he put that furniture together with any attention to detail? Not really. I had to take it partially apart later and put it back together. Did he get his reward? He did indeed and then he ghosted me. That was the last time I agreed to do any sort of kink dispensing for minimal effort of service.
It is not enough to say that you have the intention to serve a Domme. You also actually have to do it. And once you’re doing it, you have to have some attention to detail.
What does attention to detail really look like? To me it is someone who asks for clarification and clear instructions on how I wish the task to be completed. From that information the person offering the service should be able to pay attention to the details that they have been given and do a good job.
It is up to the Domme to give those clear instructions when requesting a task be completed. The first time my submissive did my laundry he did not hang up my shirts properly. The seams were not at the top of the hanger and they were just kind of thrown in the closet that way. I of course thought that it was common knowledge on how one hangs up clothes, but I took a breath and showed him what the issue was and how I wanted it done. I have not had to say anything since.
I do my best to not set my submissive up for failure. I also expect him to ask for that clarification or an example if he is confused.
We have moments where his mindfulness slips, like when he makes his own coffee with the espresso machine and leaves the setting on Americano, instead of turning it back to espresso for me. (I usually make my own because I am very picky and his barista skills are not there yet.)
If you are a submissive looking to serve a Domme I recommend that you really think about what your intent to serve looks like. Is service, for you, it’s own reward? Are you capable of focusing on the details to really give it all your attention? How do you bring mindfulness to your service?
If you are a Domme looking for service are you capable of explaining exactly what you require for a task? Or do you think that a submissive should just read your mind? How do you react when a task is completed less than perfectly to your specifications?