This is mostly a bit silly, but hey—why not? I can’t tell or teach someone how to be a Domme if they’re not one naturally, but I can share some fun activity ideas and skills to work on, especially if you’ve got a bit of a sadistic streak. You should be able to swap out pronouns as needed (she/they for he/him). My usual disclaimer applies: I’m a cishet woman. This is also more geared toward situations that lean into the relationship zone rather than casual pick-up play.
Ideas and Skills for the Budding Domme:
- Don’t ask—tell.
Example: “Take off your clothes and show me your ass.” Then give him a nice spanking. - Netflix and… clamps?
Next time you’re having a Netflix and chill evening, put a ball gag and some nipple clamps on him. Bonus points if he’s also holding the snacks and your drink while you relax. - Chivalry isn’t dead.
He should always be opening doors for you—car doors included. If he was raised right, he’s probably already doing this, but as your submissive, it’s non-negotiable. Pro tip: When walking up to a building (and you should always be in front), stop a couple of feet from the door and wait. Yes, sometimes it’s awkward if other people are coming or going, but tough. This is a low bar, and he should meet it. - Pinch and claim.
Anytime he walks in front of you (except when opening a door), give him a good, hard pinch right at the base of his ass cheek. That sweet spot doesn’t lie. - Teach him how to dress (and undress) you.
Your submissive should know how to:- Properly lace and tighten a corset.
- Tie your boots just the way you like them.
- Apply boob tape or dress tape so you look flawless.
- Basically, ensure you’re the Queen you are.
- Skip the warm-ups (if that’s your thing).
There are plenty of guides for impact play—how to warm up, what tools to use, etc. And sure, those are great. But personally? I’d rather deliver 5 or 6 good whacks with a cane right out of the gate than spend 15 minutes with a flogger. You do you. - Know what you want, and say it.
This might be the hardest skill to master: getting comfortable telling him what you want. It might feel awkward to say, “Take your clothes off” when you’re both just standing in the kitchen, but if you want him to do it, you’ve gotta say it.- Pro tip: Write down the things you want to express and practice saying them when there’s no pressure. It’ll feel more natural over time.