There are several subReddits that I’m on. One is r/FemdomCommunity. There was a post about submissive men who lie and you can read it here.
The basic question was the same one posed many, many times: are men lying about being submissive, or do they simply not understand what it means?
My answer was this:
- There are men who are addicted to femdom porn.
- There are men who are bottoms.
- There are men who have a service mindset.
- There are men who are actual masochists, which is a subset of bottoms or service mindsets.
So, take your pick. Most of the men who DM me on FetLife with a “Hey” or “Goddess, may I worship you?” are either a 1, a 2, or a combination of the two.
The idea of “lying about being submissive,” in my opinion, is more about the fact that they don’t truly understand what being submissive means to most dominant women.
It can be frustrating for dominant women to sort through all this, and in no Universe should we be expected to educate all these men.
This is why many lifestyle Dommes prefer to interact with men who have been in the scene for a while. Speaking for myself, I want to be with someone who:
a) has a service mindset as his nature, and
b) has at least some experience attending munches and classes.