Because no two humans are identical (even twins) you will never have another person match your kinks and needs 1:1. There is compromise in every single relationship we have in our lifetimes.
How do we navigate that in a healthy way that does no harm to ourselves or others?
Clear, open and honest communication and negotiation.
Consent (to me and hopefully everyone) is a big and enthusiastic “YES! Yesyesyesyes!”. Not a “Sure” or an “Okay”.
I do not consider a conversation complete when someone says “I might like to try that.” I am far from perfect but I consciously practice making no assumptions about what someone is saying (unless see above the enthusiastic yes). It works at the day job where people making assumptions cost the company money, and it works in private where people making assumptions leads to bad experiences.
“I like impact play” tells me nothing. I am not a mind-reader. I will ask exactly what you mean by that. It doesn’t make it less sexy or BDSM-y – it makes your desire and intention crystal clear. Maybe you’ve been spanked and you like that but you’re not sure about flogging or caning. Let’s talk about that in a pragmatic, non-porn fashion. I’m happy to bring out a cane and let you get a sense of what that feels like without you being naked and bound. That may be a hard no for you and that is a-okay.
That’s when negotiation starts. Negotiation allows for compromises that are amenable to both parties and a mutually satisfying conclusion to the activity at hand.
Not sexy, right? Not very “BDSM”, right? A top should never negotiate, right?
YMMV but I think that’s all incredibly sexy and defines the very core of BDSM and if I never negotiated I’d never end up doing anything I enjoyed.