Listen on Spotify or watch on YouTube.
I finally got around to listening to this today and just want to thank MyMadamJess at Atlanta Dungeon for making this. It’s not really talked about, and it’s definitely a thing.
I don’t play publicly, so it is easier (possibly) for me to get into a pretty intense top headspace. I played with sensory deprivation, bondage, impact, and sensation with my partner one night, and I had my favorite soundtrack playing.
I was in the zone. He knows he can stop me at any time, and I am hyper-aware of not breaking the toy.
But that zone, man…
After we were done and my partner was tucked up in bed, I realized that I was still pretty wired. I would not expect him to be able to give me any care, although he did ask what he could do. I just needed to do some mindless scrolling and walk around the house a bit. I probably could have gone to the gym for another workout.
It has been a (long) minute since I’ve done a really heavy topping scene. Last night was not a really heavy topping scene. It was, however, a reminder of what I have missed and also what the reality of that is for me as a sadistic top in the zone.